Thread:Lostone2/@comment-101.176.46.17-20151127083343/@comment-27384637-20160126022729

I too edit mine before submiting it, I write it up in notepad and re-read it for issues such as; "does it make sense" "is there a better way to phrase it" " does the scentence flow or is it clunky" and the like. I think a lot of it in your case is intent/tone and how you phrase things which are similar, for example these two scentences mean the same thing (the outcome is the same) but say it differently

"By his order the citizens of the town were killed"

"By his order the citizens were slaughtered"

the intent of the first lighter it may imply that he had cause or that it was an indirect result of his actions, while the second implies that the people were helpless and is a lot darker in tone.

You know what you want to say and I think you are more then capable of writing it the way you want it to sound also. All you need is a thesaurus :)