Thread:Lostone2/@comment-101.176.46.17-20151127083343/@comment-27384637-20160125031703

That pretty good, there are some places that could be phrased differently depending on the tone or intent but all in all very good. Some constructive advice in italics below if you wan or just ignore them.

For example instead of two ands something like "many, perilous... and occasionally sexy" changing the last part of that section into a more light hearted tone and the "and sexy" on it's own makes it seem like ALL the trials are sexy.

"So you've heard the tales, witnessed the glory and now you wish to try it yourself? Very well traveller I shall guide you on your journey, but be warned not everything in this world is as it seems and the obvious path may be the one that leads you to death the quickest. So tread carfully, choose wisely and always be on the lookout for things let by those who failed to heed such advice."